Friday, January 11, 2008

The Stockholm Syndrome !!

A bank has been robbed. The criminal has taken a girl as a hostage. The hostage taker is very powerful. The abducted girl is battered, exhausted and beaten up both mentally and physically. She feels that to still keep hoping for a release is like fighting a lost battle. She is emotionally feeling so weak. After a week of ordeal, a deal is made and she is going to be released. But she refuses to leave. She feels loyal towards her hostage taker. She has fallen in love with her captor !!

The victim is emotionally so weak that there is a need for an emotional dependance. There is a need for some strength. The only source available, is her captor. There begins the affinity. This particular syndrome that features in the behavior of some victims is called the Stockholm Syndrome. Many of us would think that this is absolute madness !! Height of craziness !! This is not possible at all !! But the reality is, it is !! It happens to all fo us. But we do not acknowledge it. All of us are victims. We can not deny that !

Victims !! The first thing that strikes us when we hear this word is that, it is depressing. We feel like outrightly denying the claim at once. Because we are weak. Most of us feel that ignorance and conscious indifference is a trait of strength. But the reality is otherwise. Acknowledging the fact and accepting it, is the true trait of strength !! We are victimised daily by a number of issues. Betrayal, disappointment, unfulfilled desires, etc, etc. It keeps haunting people. It makes them the hostage. The issues play the role of the captor and finally we inherit the Stockholm Syndrome by becoming loyal to the issue !! This, the emotional dependance of the person over the issue bothering him, I think is madness !!

We find so many opportunities that come our way to help us get out the hostage situation. For an example, when we are plugged on to an ipod, we find ourslves in a world which is filled with soothing music. Music which is audible only to us. Feels like bliss !! or when we run,run and run, pushing ourselves to our limits to vent out our frustration, we feel so clean having burnt out all the unnecessary things. But what happens after those few moments?? We get back to the role of the loyal hostage !!

This is nothing but the need for emotional dependance. The need is not wrong. But the choice is ! Think how great it will be if we can be loyal to the good feelings. Like being happy, being optimistic, etc, etc. Why should we always go back to the golden question of "If only it had not been like this? ". Why do we find ourself being loyal to the wrong side??

Loyalty is not always a virtue !!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Beginning of the End !!

It was a loud scream. Everyone's attention was lured towards the source that created so much decibels. It was a Woman!

The people watching this woman were full of pity towards her. But the pity that woman had towards herself was much more that what all the people had together between themselves. She cursed her God for making her go through all this. What else could be worse than giving birth to her first child at a Refugee Camp !!

Unable to withstand the searing pain she tried to distract herself. She thought of her husband. She tried to remember their happy days. But instead,the memories of him dying flashed through her memory. His patriotism had killed him. He ended up at the wrong side of the gun. He should'nt have died, she thought. But he did.

As she was suffering from this mental trauma, another thing was troubling her. She thought of the pain. Was it the pain that was troubling her? No was the answer. Some thing other than the pain. It was her baby!! What was the hurry the baby had in seeing this world, she thought. The world did not even give her a place to live. Her home was now the camp. That too, she did not know how long. Can't the baby wait till she found her home? The baby thought otherwise. It was as though the baby was impatient to land up in the camp and share his mother's trouble. That strong was their bond !!

Yet another scream! The baby was born. She felt so weak and exhausted that everything seemed to be a dream. She could see her baby lying still. The Obstetrician was pointing out to the nurse that the baby was not crying and it was slightly blue. They were worried.The mother found it to be strange. Who will want anyone to cry?? That too if one didn't , getting worried?? That was weird to her. But as the time passed on, they were panicking about the fact that the baby did not cry. She also started getting worried. She preferred to trust the Obstetrician's view in this. If they felt that her baby had to cry, it had to cry. She told within herself.. cry..cry..cry.. She even prayed to God to make her baby cry.She was almost pleading.. cry..please cry..Please..cry..please..cry..cry... and it cried !!

The baby cried for five minutes continously as though he will never cry again in his life. The world was strange, she thought. Sometimes one even has to pray for making someone cry. The baby's colour returned to normal pink. The very thought that she had her baby now with her gave her a new strength. A new beginning. But it was the Beginning of the End !!

She gave her baby a kiss. A final Kiss. Or was it the first one?? Both !! The baby's hand was holding on to her finger. It somehow knew that his mother was going to leave him.It cried again. This time she pleaded her son to stop crying.Because the sound of her baby's cry was holding her back. She thought that she had to go. Back to her country. Back to the struggle. To take up from where her husband had left. But was it so powerful a reason to leave her newborn and go?? To her it was !! And she left !!

To her baby it was the beginning. To her it was the Beginning of the End !!

Friday, September 7, 2007

Perception Differs !!

I always think that things
around me are good. They do not
upset me often. It is because Im sensitive
to not many things. My expectations are less
and hence the result;
I always have a ‘ Be Happy ‘ feeling in me;
I believe people around me
are so good that they will never even
try to hurt me; Sometimes I get obsessed with this belief !!
I try to remain positive always.
I think if i try to be good with the people around me
it spreads a ‘Feel Good’ factor and never ever will
they fail to reciprocate my feelings.
Believe me ,it happens.
When you try to remain positive,
you become implanted with positive thoughts ; rarely
something happens to destroy your way of thinking.
There is nothing wrong in trying to be positive after all !!
When you help others, do
think that it makes others happy and never ever
think about what you will get in return.
That is called selfless help. It is regarded to be greater than almost everything else !!
This way of thinking will certainly do you good.
This is the way to become a good human being.
When I realize that being positive
is a positive drive to one’s life and having negative thoughts and doubts
will never do any good to my life,
I choose to be positive.
I decide how to live my life !!

What does the above piece of text convey?
Text that tries to bring to you the importance of Positive Thinking??
Ya true.. But more than that I wish to convey an even more important thing.

Now just try to read the odd numbered lines only.( 1st continued by 3rd..)

Now what does this text convey????

That is the beauty of the way one look at the things !!
Never try to overlook even the smallest of things in life. Even the small things like a slight Gesture of Care, a Smiling Face, a slight Pat on the shoulders, Holding one's hand, asking ' How are You?', a warm Hug, a slight acknowledgement of affection...
Everything carries a lot of meaning !! Meanings which will make you feel good. It will make you believe that ,after all the world is not bad. Infact it is filled with people who are so good that they make you feel positive !!

That is the Beauty of Looking at things in a Positive Way !!

Friday, August 24, 2007

I met a Human Being !!

I met a Human Being. Or rather a better Human Being. Acoording to many of us human beings refer to Homo Sapiens. But to me it is a step further. To me Human beings are Homo Sapiens who have the Humanitarian nature.But I met a person who was still a step further ahead of me in these terms.

We were walking down a path way when we happened to find a puppy. A puppy which in all probability would have seen this world for the first time a week ago. Probably even late. It was so young, tender and of course very very cute.Our first reaction was " How cute it is !" . But it was there without any attention or care. On the first look, it seemed to be sick.It was lying there with its eyes closed. It was not even able to move. It was shivering. We stood there watching it without going near it. But after some time we realized that its mother was nowhere near it. The puppy was probably discarded by its mother. Or rather it seemed to be!

We all felt sad for the puppy. We did nothing else. But one of my friend went near it and took it in his arms. He held it so gently in his hands like how a mother will carry her new born. He wrapped the puppy in a hand towel and gave warmth to it. The puppy lay cuddled in his arms now seeming to have found peace. It stirred gently, opening its eyes, probably to see who was giving it such warmth. Could the puppy have expected to see its mother when it opened its eyes? Because it was feeling so comfortable and cared in his arms. He was giving more than what its mother actually gave it!

He was ready to take the puppy with him to his room and feed it. And then to a veterinarian to get it treated. He simply was not ready to part with his newly found treasure. He did not care whether the puppy had any infections and it was already licking him all over his torso. He made us realize that just empathizing and sympathysing was not enough. Not enough at all !! He gave so much of love, affection and care to the puppy that it was feeling so comfortable with him. It was possible because his feelings were true. From his heart !! I learnt that love and care has no boundaries.The sight, just the sight, of the puppy cuddled in his arms would have melted anyone's heart ! It melted mine !!

I realized that i have met a Human Being !!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Rythm Of The Rainfall !!

I was taking a walk on a cloudy day. I felt that it might rain that day or rather i needed it to. But i was not sure. I was not sure about many things. Life was becoming an Enigma !!

On the road i was able to see many things which could be disrupted if it rains. The road side shops did not have a concrete roof. It just had a layer of canvas on top. But neither did the people buying things nor the shop keeper seemed to bother about it. Atleast as long as their objectives were satisfied. Thats life !! Nobody looks above as long as they get what they want !! I pity God !!

I was able see children playing happily on the road side. They did not care about whether it would rain or not. They wanted to play. And they will, till it rained. That simple ! Everything in life was too simple to them. They did not have to worry about anything at all. Nor did they had to decide anything. They seemed to go with the flow of life. Is it not the way everyone should live their life? I wish i were one among them. Sometimes in life we can afford just to wish and envy !!

Then i saw a begger under a tree. He also did not seem to worry whether it would rain or not. Was it because he felt secured under the tree or was it because he was used to getting wet in rain? Life did not offer him anything great. In fact nothing at all. That put him in an advantageous position where he did not have to take care of anything.Or protect anything for that matter. A state of complete independence !! Is that a blessing or a curse?? Atleast for now, it seemed to be a blessing as i had many things to worry about and he did not have any!

I knew that if it rained, it would affect the happenings around me. The shop keeper, the children, the begger, everyone would have to run for a shelter. Will i also run? I laughed at myself. Even though i knew none of the people i mentioned would want it to rain, i wanted it to rain. Do i call myself Selfish?? But then i was living My Life and had expectations and preferences which will affect My Life and not others'. But why not? That is the beauty of living for oneself. One gets confused so easily !

I suddenly heard a noise from the clouds. Were they speaking to me? I looked up. A tiny droplet of water fell on my forehead. It felt refreshing beyond words. Then another droplet. Then another one..It continued. Finally it has arrived. I had to wait so long for it. But then the effect it produced made me feel it was worth the wait. Who will not want to wait if they are assured that their wait would be rewarded fairly??

The rythm with which it rained felt close to my heart. It coincided with the rythm of my heart itself. I had been waiting for this moment since long. When everybody ran away from rain, i simply walked on. When everybody fled just to avoid getting wet, I simply walked on. Guess why????

Because when i got drenched in rain, nobody would be able to see that i was Crying !!!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Luxury Means Different To Different People !!

The trees need some rest. But does the wind grant them that luxury??
May be Sometimes...

The country was at war.Not with any other country.But with itself. This is a common scenario in many countries where there is a very minute line of difference between Terrorism and Activism. Actually does any difference exist between them?? May be...

In such countires many things are common occurrences, which are not in other countries. I was walking in the market place when I noticed the debris of a car bombed just a few minutes ago. Still everything was proceeding near to normal routine. At least it seemed to be! Each shop was buzzing with activities. It was strange to observe the behaviour of the people present there. They were very busy going from shop to shop to make sure that they did not miss any purchase for the week. The scene of bombing was surrounded by a marginal empty space beyond which the market place was abuzz. Nobody seemed to bother about the incident which had happened some time ago, except for a few armed gaurds standing there and protecting the debris. Wonder why??? To them it was called Evidence!!!

I wondered why were the people so much indifferent. Was it because they were too busy to bother about their surroundings and others? Or was it because such incidents were too common occurrences to attract the people's attention? What would have caused this ignorance in these people? Will they ever care about others? In other places where people lived a peacefull life, such incidents would have deterred normal routine for weeks together. A few people would have suffered severe traumas. But in this country?? True, people might have different priorities. But is this level of indifference acceptable? Or is this difference in their priorities causing the war?? Were their differences being exploited??

People have been living like this with the war going on around them for decades. For them witnessing a bombing or gunfire is like having a cup of coffee every morning. Will they ever wish to have a peaceful life? A life where their children will go to proper schools, unlike the half destroyed school building which is covered with asbestos to accomodate a few children. And that too only sometimes!!! A life where all wives can expect their husbands to return home everyday for sure. A life where the mothers can feel secured that their children will not be recruited forcibly by the army for fighting the activists or vice versa.

To them this destination was not near. Infact it was very very far away! They wanted things to change.
But for them Peace was a Luxury !!!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Difficult Googling of My Life !!

Have you ever gone crazy with happiness?
Have you ever felt that you can wait no more?
Have you ever felt that the clock is playing with you by ticking very very slowly?

I have...

I think you have got the essence of what i went through and Why!! You think i fell in love? or do u think that i was anticipating a jackpot? or do u think that i was .......?
It was the result of a search that ended that day. Life is not a Google, where you can modify your key words to improve your search results. In life the Key words remain the same. Be it your pal's name, or an entity you are searching for, or be it Happiness for that matter. Can u search Joy instead of Happiness? In life searches are not that easy. Infact not easy at all!!!

My friend used to boast that he can search anything by googling in less than 0.5 seconds. Well, that could be an art. But i was googling in my life. It is expected to last long than the range of seconds or minutes. Guess how long it took my Googling to produce the result?

11 Years!!!!!

Feeling Wow!!?? Even i felt that way.. It so happens that we humans always see what we want to see. Thats why we almost always overlook the obvious. This mistake, or should i say, this inherent flaw in humans, many a time costs us dear. I am no exception!

But when i realized that my search has ended finally, i felt satisfied. I felt like a new born baby. Everything felt new.It was a new beginning.I was happy. Should i say that's an understatement? Of course YES! I was simply going crazy with happiness.

But suddenly a thing hit me. Most of the times what we search for will not be there for our taking.We might find out what we need. But still one question prevails. Can we strech our hands and hold that thing ? Can we claim that it belongs to us?

I was not sure!! Not sure at all. It was there right in front of me. But i didnt know if it was mine!! Will time suggest an answer? I had to wait. The clock was ticking slowly. Infact very very slowly! The journey of my longest wait had already started........